Pillow Talk: 45 Questions To Ask Your Partner In Bed. Last medically reviewed on April 22, 2019, Oxytocin is a hormone that acts as a neurotransmitter and plays an important role in reproduction.

Intimate conversations that occur between romantic partners after sexual activity are commonly referred to as “pillow talk.” Pillow talk often involves disclosing positive sentiments such as validation and affection, but it can also be negative (e.g., arguing or bringing up complaints). “Talking dirty can enhance the act of sex, if and when both partners are comfortable and aroused by it,” says Bash. One of the reasons pillow talk works, he says, is because it allows for more in-depth conversations without self-censorship. Pillow talk topics can vary from more serious topics to those that are hilarious. What can pillow talk do for your relationship? We have two words for you: pillow talk. 25. Since most pillow talk happens when you’re lying down, relaxed, and cuddling, Bash says it’s common to experience an increase in oxytocin, the bonding love hormone. If I had to move away for work, would you follow me? Do your friends really like me or are they just pretending? In other words, "ejaculation is associated with decreased activation throughout the prefrontal cortex" – science speak for "dozing off almost can't be helped". Can you remember the exact moment you fell in love with me? If all you and your lover do before turning in to sleep is whine about how unfair life is, with of you will wake up feeling drained in the morning. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. But it should, because sex results in the increased production of the "cuddle hormone" oxytocin, and decreased production of the "stress hormone" cortisol, regardless of whether you're a man or a woman. … Read More... about Participate in Research. The more people engaged in positive relationship disclosures after sexual activity, the higher their ratings of trust, relationship satisfaction, and closeness with their partners. How pillow use at pillow talking as the bright pillow of your life. Trip down memory lane. “It can be the bridge between casual sex and falling in love, since our emotional connection is ultimately what makes a couple stay together and feel in love with each other,” she adds. Interestingly, this same pattern held no matter the method used to achieve orgasm; that is, the effect of orgasm on disclosures was the same whether the woman orgasmed during intercourse or from other stimulation. Women who reached orgasm made significantly more positive disclosures than those who did not. When I send you a cute text, does it make you smile?

“It’s much more about enhancing emotional intimacy and creating a safe environment, which can enhance sex as well,” she adds. On the other hand, such intimate disclosures might come with the risk of divulging too much or being rejected by the partner, which could result in less relationship happiness.

This is consistent with rules for maintaining friends with benefits relationships, one of which is to restrict communication and emotional expressions (Hughes et al., 2005). Because of the constructive nature of this communication, one prediction was that positive relational disclosures following sex (e.g., “I love you”; “I’m so glad to be with you”) would be associated with greater trust, satisfaction, and closeness between partners. It’s oftentimes an easy conversation about the events of the day or week, in a safe and … This goes some way to explaining why pillow talk can sometimes lead to fights, rather than a deeper sense of intimacy (it's the booze talking).

It depends on the situation, your mood and your gut feeling about the right conversation starter at that point. She found that the more alcohol individuals consumed, the less likely they were to see benefits in pillow talk, and that when they did talk their disclosures were less deep and positive. Couples usually talk about what’s on their mind during pillow talk. In fact, those people in casual relationships reported higher levels of regret for their post-sex disclosures compared to those in committed relationships. While it might be tempting to talk to this person all day every day, you need to keep this casual relationship in its casual relationship box.

22 Signs to Watch For, Defining and Overcoming a Fear of Intimacy, 16 Simple Ways to Relieve Stress and Anxiety, How to Fall Asleep in 10, 60, or 120 Seconds, talking about what you love about each other, sharing dreams for the future, travel and adventure, and things you want to try as a couple, recalling special moments, like when you first fell in love, sharing positive attributes and gestures that can help your partner feel safer and more confident, recognizing the importance of things from your past. For some people, this type of conversation might occur naturally, but for others, it might be tougher to open up. Pillow talk is reserved for good and sweet times only. One of Denes' early studies in 2010 found things like relationship status and the presence or absence of orgasm greatly affected pillow talk.

What you have to keep in mind is that your partner could ask the same questions back.

36. Another possibility is that individuals in casual relationships are focused on the physical act as opposed to relational outcomes, and so they do not share intimate feelings as a way to develop the relationship further. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. There are many random questions you can ask your partner to make things more fun and relaxed. If your sex life doesn’t seem like it’s happening lately, you might be wondering if pillow talk can help boost your activity in the bedroom.

When comparing committed versus casual relationships, individuals in committed relationships expressed significantly more positive disclosures compared to those individuals in casual relationships. Apart from making sex more entertaining, a 2006 Elle/MSNBC survey of nearly 78,000 people found that naughty talk … While talking dirty during foreplay and sex can lead to a heightened experience and more intimate time with your partner, it’s not the same thing as pillow talk. Maintaining good relationships is…, Sex therapy is talk therapy that's designed to help individuals and couples address medical, psychological, personal, or interpersonal factors…, Sex and intimacy don’t have to be the same. Western Journal of Communication, 69, 49-66. How do you feel about pizza with pineapple? Where do you like to be touched the most? Furthermore, people in monogamous/committed relationships regretted their disclosures less. If you are just starting, this is a great way to ask a thing or two and indirectly see where he stands when it comes to the two of you.. 1.