There have been two primary forms of the RAIN acronym circulating in the meditation spheres, and we would like to clarify between the original and more recently evolved versions. Try to have self-compassion instead of self-criticism. In doing so, self-compassion actually feels within my reach on a day-to-day basis, and I can hope that with practice it might even come naturally to me. So what can we do? Experts on how they developed resilience in extremely stressful situations, What it’s like to have muscle dysmorphia during lockdown, If we take anything away from this experience, hopefully it’s kindness, Unlikely thought leaders from the world of film, Michaela Coel and Donald Glover have a lot to talk about. Without getting into story, simply name what is present, such as "annoyance," "thoughts of being mistreated," "body firing up," "hurt," "wanting to cry.". Investigating means calling on our natural curiosity—the desire to know truth—and directing a more focused attention to our present experience. But if you suppress, disown, push away, recoil from, or deny major parts of yourself, then you feel cut off, alienated from yourself, lacking vital information about what is really going on inside, no longer at home in your own skin or your own mind - which feels bad, lowers effectiveness at home and work, fuels interpersonal issues, and contributes to health problems. Investigate with kindness (deepens understanding and care)

Compassion arises naturally when we mindfully contact our suffering and respond with care. Not detached intellectual analysis but a gently engaged exploration, often with a sense of tenderness or friendliness toward what it finds. But rather than allowing that feeling, we might blame our partner for not doing his or her part, worry about something completely different, or decide it’s time for a nap. When we behave in hurtful, reactive ways, it’s because we’re caught in some kind of painful trap. I’m even feeling resentful and annoyed that she keeps talking about how happy she is! R.A.I.N. In this case, certain thoughts or emotions.

Right on cue, my therapist would be like, “You’re not being very kind to yourself,” and I would be like, “I’m just being truthful.”. Founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom and on the Advisory Board of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, he’s been an invited speaker at Oxford, Stanford, and Harvard, and taught in meditation centers worldwide.

In order to flower, self-compassion depends on honest, direct contact with our own vulnerability. (Hey, this is a safe space—I know there are people out there who can relate.) Nurture (awakens love) Simply pausing to ask, what is happening inside me?, can initiate recognition, but investigation adds a more active and pointed kind of inquiry. When I recognized how my leg was in a trap—sickness compounded with self aversion— my heart filled with sorrow and genuine self-care. The world is about responsibility, and putting aside fickle feelings to focus on what is in front of us means others can rely on us to be consistant and stable. Over the last several decades, through my work with tens of thousands of clients and meditation students, I’ve come to see the pain of perceived deficiency as epidemic. The investigating deepened as I gently put my hand over my heart—a gesture of kindness— and invited whatever other feelings were there to surface. A friend of mine was telling me about the cute dates she and her girlfriend had been having in quarantine, and I (a single human who’s living alone during the pandemic) started to feel the stirrings of sadness, jealousy, and loneliness. That could be anything from “Ah, I’m worrying that my friends hate me because they ignored my contribution in the group chat” to “Oh, I’m feeling like a failure after getting feedback on that presentation.” Sometimes it’s difficult to do at first, given how emotions can roll over us as physical, difficult-to-name sensations, but you can get better with practice. and Miles Seiden Creative, Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of R.A.I.N. May 26, 2014 By: Michele McDonald 24 Comments One of the features I’m most excited about with my new patio is the installation of a rain barrel! We’re resisting the rawness and unpleasantness of the feeling by withdrawing from the present moment. All these things can be true at the same time, and I can work with that. It is a common practice taught by many Western mindfulness teachers including Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach. Allowing creates a space that enables us to see more deeply into our own being, which, in turn, awakens our caring and helps us make wiser choices in life. Investigate: I’m probably feeling this way because I’ve been particularly sensitive lately due to loneliness and the pandemic. It's OK for your inquiry to be guided by a bit of insight into your own history and personality, but try to stay close to the raw experience and out of psychoanalyzing yourself. And you wonder why my therapist loved to tell me to just please, God, try RAIN. Typically, I would not only swallow down those feelings, but I would also start to feel guilty. One tool that I’ve found to be extremely helpful for this practice is the acronym Then we need to work with the mind, by reducing what's negative and increasing what's positive. ). Like awakening from a dream, the first step out of the trance of unworthiness is simply to recognize that we are stuck, subject to painfully constricting beliefs, emotions, and physical sensations. A summa cum laude graduate of UCLA, his work has been featured on the BBC, NPR, CBC, FoxBusiness, Consumer Reports Health, U.S. News and World Report,and O Magazine and he has several audio programs with Sounds True. Too often we focus on what our thoughts and feelings mean about us. Recognizing means consciously acknowledging, in any given moment, the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are affecting us. Realising all of that is the first step.

Non-identification: A common refrain in self-compassion work like this is you are more than your thoughts and feelings. A loving relationship can be an oasis in uncertain times, but nurturing it requires attention, honesty, openness, vulnerability, and gratitude.

Not all thoughts should be spoken, and not all desires should be acted upon! What does this feeling want from me?

Of course not—there are still plenty of opportunities to unpack, manage, and decide what to do with them. ), Facing Pandemic Fears with an Awake Heart, Reflection: Bringing RAIN to the Wanting Mind (11:01 min. Each time you are willing to slow down and recognize, oh, this is the trance of unworthiness… this is fear… this is hurt…this is judgment…, you are poised to de-condition the old habits and limiting self-beliefs that imprison your heart. Thank you. But compared to my knee-jerk process of judgment and self-loathing, RAIN is a big step up. Different people respond to the sense of unworthiness in different ways. When we inevitably fall short of the mark, we condemn ourselves. Practice the RAIN Meditation with Tara Brach, Tara Brach on The Transformative Power of Radical Compassion, 8 Questions That Can Help Ease Election Anxiety, Mindful Parenting: 5 Tools to Set Healthy Limits for Your Child, Sparking Joy: A Mindfulness Practice for Everyday, Five Common Work Challenges Mindfulness Can Improve, How a Lack of Gratitude Kills Relationships, A Practice to Reclaim Your Joy with Sebene Selassie, How Mindfulness Serves Parents of Autistic Children, How Mindfulness Can Boost Your Exercise Habits, How to Start a Mindful Journaling Practice, What Clowns Can Teach Us About Building Resilience. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.

But often it is not enough to simply be with the mind, even in as profound a way as R.A.I.N. When anger is held in mindfulness, it can energize us to respond wisely to challenging situations. Disentangle yourself from the various parts of the experience, knowing that they are small, fleeting aspects of the totality you are. You’re a rotten person who deserves to die alone. In turn, they slowly become internalised beliefs that impact how we treat ourselves. Common signs of the trance include a critical inner voice, feelings of shame or fear, the squeeze of anxiety or the weight of depression in the body. My favorite part of RAIN is that it doesn’t ask me to talk myself out of my feelings. This is an easy step to skip, especially if you’re in the practice of pushing against your negative voice. Non-identification: I’m not a bad person because I feel this way. I know that in time I will get better.

His weekly e-newsletter – Just One Thing – has over 100,000 subscribers, and also appears on Huffington Post, Psychology Today, and other major websites. When I was in college, I went off to the mountains for a weekend of hiking with an older, wiser friend of twenty-two. You can trust this! Turning Toward Fear with RAIN Adapted from Tara’s new book – Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your... We all encounter “demons” of fear, anger, hurt, craving and shame. We begin to intuit and live from the openness and love that express our natural awareness. I’m still figuring it out. Learning to recognize the cues and taking a pause interrupted the pattern. Don't add to the difficulty by being hard on yourself. You might wonder how the Non-Identification step from the original version fits into the new version. R.A.I.N. In this... One of the greatest roots of suffering is being at war with ourselves.

The practice has four steps and they are as follows – For instance, you might feel the grip of fear and mentally whisper yes in order to acknowledge and accept the reality of your experience in this moment. The greatest blessing we can give ourselves is to recognize the pain of this trance, and regularly offer a cleansing rain of self-compassion to our awakening hearts. RAIN is a mindfulness practice that was first introduced by Michele McDonald over a decade ago. Feel the contraction, stress, and pain that comes from claiming any part of this stream as "I," or "me," or "mine" - and sense the spaciousness and peace that comes when experiences simply flow. Though the first three steps of RAIN require some intentional activity, the N is the treasure: A liberating homecoming to our true nature. Like many therapeutic tools, there are many uses of the various iterations of the RAIN meditation, whether you’re using it to battle negative self-talk or calm anxious thoughts. Ask: Why do I feel this way? Clinical psychologist Tara Brach is the author of True Refuge: Finding Peace & Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart. This meditation brings the clarity and self-compassion of RAIN to the suffering of self-aversion and/or shame.

Realistically, it looks like a long journey of interfacing directly and honestly with our most vulnerable thoughts and feelings.

RAIN is a practice for life—meeting our doubts and fears with a healing presence. If you’re trying to practice more self-compassion, you might find it helpful too. My therapist will be the first to tell you that I’m not always super nice to myself—and for a while, I disagreed. The recognize part often eludes me, as I often just suppress my stress.